Attitude of Gratitude
Last night, my family went to look at Christmas lights. We sang Christmas Carols and danced under the lights together. It was so magical! At the very last street, my son eagerly looked for the lady who was handing out candy canes last year. She was not there. His face fell and he voiced his disappointment frowning. As we drove home, I suggested we do Gratitude Circle to show our thanks for such a great day.
“I’m thankful for going out to see the Christmas Lights!!” My youngest.
“I’m thankful for all the people who did the hard work to put up the lights!!” My Husband.
“Can I say three?” I asked. Playing through the day, I had so many highlights I wanted to share.
“I’m thankful for NOTHING!” My Oldest.
The soundtrack of the night screeched to a halt. The silence felt heavy. I asked him why.
“Well, I was having a great day but now I can’t because THOSE people didn’t hand out candy canes and I wanted a candy cane.”
Friends…. My mom heart RAGED inside me.
Gratitude Circle. This is one of the best practices we have introduced in our family. It’s quite simple and we do it often… as a family, with friends, after a hike, whenever the mood strikes. Everyone stands in a circle with hands out to the side. Each person puts their right hand on top of the left hand of the person to their left. So you have one hand on top of someone else’s and one hand underneath another someone else. One person states their gratitude for the day or activity. Then they take their right hand across their body to slap the right hand of the next person. That person passes it on, etc etc until it reaches the original person again. It’s a literal passing of the gratitude to each person in the circle. The next person does the same and it continues onward.
THIS had never happened. Never once had such a negative attitude entered our Gratitude Circle. With smoke coming out of my ears, I took a deep breath. How had MY child gotten here? What was I supposed to do? I wanted to scream and yell. I ached to threaten and take away. But I was struck with a moment of parental clarity. Gratitude requires practice, lots and lots of practice. It also requires the freedom to share your feelings when you are blinded to the blessings.
A person must CHOOSE Gratitude. Entering Gratitude Circle is a moment of humility, a dropping of your guard, an acceptance of what someone else valued the most, and a recognition of perspective that may not mirror your own. It’s also a place to be supported when you feel big feelings. We’ve all had a whole day ”ruined.” We’ve all sat with our negative thoughts ruminating and growing into something bigger. We all lose sight of the bigger picture. The hope is to never get stuck in that space. Gratitude Circle is a place to be gently redirected towards the positive. It’s being shown by others what you can’t see for yourself. It’s a gift of a big shiny thank you when you don’t feel like you have one of your own.
When we got home, my son burst into tears. “I’m really grateful for a lot of things, Mommy. I really am. I just really wanted a candy cane.” I wrapped him a hug. I understood. Life has handed me plenty of disappointment. “I know you did, Baby. You can’t let 1 bad minute define your day. We have so much and when you feel sad or angry, you can just start to list all the things you have to be grateful for… You’ll see. It’s a lot.” I started making bottles of milk for bedtime. “Oh! I’m grateful for milk!” He said. “Which means I am grateful for cows… and for the farmer… and the refrigerator… “ He walked out the kitchen reciting his giant list.
An Attitude of Gratitude requires daily practice. Each night, as i play through my day from start to finish, I pause to honor the moments that brought a smile to my face, nourished my body, improved my health, or blessed my family. It’s overwhelming. On the worst day, I still find the blessings stacked in my favor. Without this practice of reflection, it would be easy to forget. It would be easy to lose sight. It would be easy to get stuck. Today, I am grateful for Gratitude Circle and the opportunity it gave me to turn young eyes towards a different outcome.
